Hello world!

I've been told a couple of times I should start a blog and never really seriously thought about it.  I'm really not that interesting.  I just try to get by day to day as best I can.  However, lately things keep happening in and around my life that just strike me as odd or funny and I want to tell people about it... so after retelling someone a story about today and being told, yet again, I should start a blog I thought I would give it a whirl!  Warning... I like to draw things out so sit down with a cup of coffee, tea, vodka... whatever!

So, for my first episode I would like to tell you about how sometimes I think my life imitates Stephanie Plum's life from the Janet Evanovich books... fortunately, without the dead bodies, flying bullets, and exploding cars.... unfortunately without Joe Morelli and Ranger.  Who doesn't want those two in their life?  YUM! 

Anyway!  So I had arranged to work from home today- AWESOME!  I roll out of bed, frizzy psycho curls sticking out everywhere (WHO CARES?!  I'm going to be happily ensconced in my house all day!), throw on sweats and get the 9 year old off to school in between starting to work and mainlining coffee. 

10:30 rolls around... I'm hungry, did I eat?  Nope.  I still have homemade pot pie filling leftover from a couple nights ago and puff pastry sheets in the freezer.  Chicken pot pie!  YUM!  I get out the fixin's and as I'm assembling one for myself I realize I have enough for ONE more.  What to do?  Make lunch for someone and surprise them of course!  I have a friend who works just over two miles away, I can put BOTH pot pies in the oven, keep working and when they are done I can run the pie up to my friend and be back working and eating my lunch inside of 15 minutes!  GENIUS, right?!

I get work moving and in progress, my database is thinking and my timer is almost up.  I bribe the dog with a treat to go into her kennel (I'm not leaving my pie out with a dog loose- are you crazy?), grab a basket and line it with a towel and paper towel to secure the pie.  Grab the car keys, cell phone and license and run out the door. 

Pie is being enjoyed, I'm headed home smiling.  I love it when other people like my cooking!  I pull into the driveway and a thought hits me like a ton of bricks and my stomach turns over. 

Sidebar on-

So, a couple weeks ago, my husband finally decided to replace the lock on our door- he's had it sitting  around a while and, thought what the heck.  Wait, he wants to replace the door knob too!  Holy shit!
-Plus, door is more secure, which means we're more safe.  No boogey men in our house!
-Plus, the door no longer sticks and doesn't require brute force to walk into the house!  HELL YES!  I like that even more! 

-Minus- the handle/doorknob is the kind of set up where you can lock it from inside with a twist but still open the door freely, but the door is still locked from the outside and you need a key to gain entry.  Before, if I was going to be gone for a handful of minutes I would simply close the door behind me to give it the semblance of being locked up tight then walk right in when I got back.  We have several neighbors in and out of the neighborhood all day long, 5,001 dogs, known alarm systems in almost every house, everyone knows what everyone drives and its a dead end with little to no outside traffic- so it's pretty safe.

Sidebar off-

SHIT!  Is the door locked?  Yup!  House keys?  On the table in the library of course! 

So here I am, in my sweats, slippers, no bra, hair sticking out in several places with car keys, my license and my cell phone with my lunch sitting on the stove and my database undoubtedly done 'thinking' all waiting for me... mocking me behind a very securely locked door.

I feel so safe. 

There's a fly in there.... my pot pie is going to have fly cooties on it...

Locks are still new so we haven't given the keys we had made for our neighbor's out yet.  They are hanging right next to the door... inside... taunting me... bastards....

What are my options?  Shawn (husband) and Luke (son) both have keys and both are about 20-25 minutes away.  FUCK!  I'm working from home because Shawn had to go on an organic farm tour OVER TWO HOURS AWAY for work!  Luke works for a car dealership and goes on dealer trades almost daily-many times to another state!  EEK!

I frantically call Luke and explain as quickly as possible because his phone battery is slowly dying and can barely hold a charge when a phone call is in process.

LUCK!  He is on his way back to the dealership and will be there by the time I make it there. 

I'm home- the door knob lock is officially unturned, I'm stuffed with chicken pot pie and trying to not think about the possible fly cooties....